Sunday, September 27, 2009
Three physicians, reporting in The Canadian Journal of Urology in July, described how they handled an emergency-room patient who arrived with a ballpoint pen in his urethra. The man, 57, had assumed that the insertion would be pleasurable, and when it wasn't, thought initially that maybe the pen was not in far enough. After pushing further, to even greater discomfort, he thought that if he pushed it all the way through, it would exit in his rectum, where he could remove it more easily. (Actually, they're not connected.) Doctors removed the pen with the same procedure used to remove kidney stones. [Canadian Journal of Urology (July 2009) via Neurotopia blog, 8-28-09]
Zulbull says: I don't know which is worse, the pain or the stupidity.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
Quote of the day:
Raja: you should see when she's making poopy
Raja: her face will be all screwed up, turn red, she'll start making snorty noises and thenCHREETT!!
u jus described my routine bowel movements
Sunday, September 13, 2009
In Torrington, Conn., in June, a teenage girl, hearing a woman she lived with screaming in another room, summoned four of her friends, who quickly arrived and beat up the 25-year-old man who was with the woman. It turns out that the couple were having consensual sex (and good sex, at that). The girl and three of the boys were charged with assault. [CBS News-AP, 7-2-09]
Keith Griffin, 48, was arrested in Martin County, Fla., in August for possessing child pornography on his computer. He tried to talk detectives out of the arrest by claiming that his cat often walks on the keyboard and must have stepped on some combination of keys that resulted in the downloading of about 1,000 images. [South Florida Sun-Sentinel, 8-7-09]
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Proud to be Malaysian? LOL
I am really not sure about the wisdom of using "Malaysia" as a brandname for rat glue.
*Conclusion: After being advised by the hardware shop guy to use anchovies as the bait for the trap, I set it up and wait 'till pre-dawn breakfast (today)...*
A camwhore, too.
Me: So...uh, how should I dispose of it?
Mom: I don't know.
Me and Khairi: Decapitate it!
Mom: 1) It's messy. 2) And how do you propose to do that? Tell it to stand still while you chop its head off, Dr Dolittle?
Me: Point taken. Ooh, what about boiling water! The traditional method!
Kak Nani (our domestic helper): If you're going to kill it, please don't do it in front of me!
Me: Spoilsport. What about we bash it in with a stick?
Mom: Again, the fella won't sit still for you to do that. And again, IT'S MESSY!
Me: Fine. I'll curl it up into a ball and throw it at the bitchy neighbour who lives in front of us.
Mom: You will not! Do the right thing, release it in the park!
Me: Yeah! And let it go crawl into someone else's house! Yeah!
Khairi: Yeah! I just want to watch That 70's Show. You go ahead.
*Now if you'll excuse me, I have a mouse to release!* Erm...Did I just say that out loud?
Mom: (out of the corner of her eye, spots something running really fast) Eh, afterwards get the spray. I saw a really big cockroach run into the TV room.
Me: !!! Shite. How am I gonna watch That 70's Show now?! *Contemplates going upstairs to watch it instead of remaining on the first floor*
Khairi: Well, since I'm done eating, let me go and check it out first.
Me: Be careful, brother. You know what happens when cockroaches get near us!
Mom: You scream and run around like little girls?
Khairi enters TV room, switches on That 70's Show. I enter the TV room a few minutes after that, guerilla style. I keep an eye on the floor, under the furniture and in between the drumset, as well as near the cupboards.
Me: Hmmm...no sign of any bastard cockroach.
Khairi: Yep. I guessed just as much. But just to be safe, I ain't sitting on the sofa, man.
Me: Haw, haw! Maybe Mom thought she saw a cockroach, but she just imagined it!
Me and Khairi: Hahahahahahaha!
*NOT Mickey decides to make an appearance by darting out from behind of Karaoke CPU (the one place we did not scan!) and then darting back in. Me and Khairi blink a few times before looking at each other and thinking "OH."*
Me: Moooooooooom! We found your cockroach!
Mom: Oh, good. Get the spray and kill it.
Me: Oh, we'll definitely spray it, allright. But this ain't no cockroach!
Mom: Really? What is it, then?
Me and Khairi: It's a MOUSE.
Mom: Oh, great! Well, do something! Don't just sit there watching TV!
*But guys being guys, me and Khairi wanted to finish watching That 70's Show first! Hahaha. Hey c'mon, it was a fun episode! It was the one where Jackie realized and wanted to confess that she was in love with Fez! Anyway, Khairi and I agree to close the TV room sliding doors, all the while keeping the flashlight focused on the mouse, WHILE watching That 70's Show. Big mistake.*
Me: Well, that was a good episode! Now let's get to tackling that mouse! I'm gonna spray behind the karaoke CPU and TV set. Khairi, you standby and let me know if he runs towards you.
*Images of kamikaze mice running up my leg and chewing on my gonads spring to mind, so I tell Khairi to get a chair ready and stand on it, just in case. He heeds my advice, and stands on the chair while keeping both eyes on the Karaoke CPU.*
Me: (Sprays Ridsect at full blast towards Karaoke CPU and TV) Diiiiiiiiiiiiiie you squeaky little menace! I'll teach you to hide behind my TV and chew on the wires! Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiie!
*At this point, things get interesting. So creeped out by the prospect of having the mouse crawl up his leg and shred his gonads that while squatting on the chair, Khairi accidentally swats a glass on the table and smashes it to bits!*
Mom: (Bursts into the TV room) What happened? Is the mouse wreaking havoc? You all should have removed all the glasses and breakable items from the room!
Me: Relax, Mom. That was Khairi the Mouse, and he just smashed a glass by accident out of paranoia.
*As I continue to spray (lots and lots of it), the mouse does not show any sign of making an appearance. Khairi and I get desperate, so we remove all the drawers where the TV set is and open the cupboard doors beside it. Lo and behold, the fella has DISAPPEARED!*
*** to be continued***