Friday, August 7, 2009

From the files and neutral eyes of Frodo Baggins

Boromir had been mulling for weeks to send a "critical analysis" of Saruman's reign of Middle Earth, in the form of a John Hancock'd parchment but never really had the time to do so. The nutless monkey Saruman had always kept Boromir busy with silly, time-wasting treks outside the Shire, sending him to Mordor, the Old Forest and the Barrow-downs with reckless abandon and nary a care about Boromir's pursuit to master the One Ring.

The stillness of the air was shattered this morning with the news that an extremely discontented Hobbit/Elf/Dwarf (it's really anyone's guess as to whether it was Samwise, Legolas, Arwen, Gimli or Pippin or Lord knows who) had delivered a parchment to Gandalf and in it, a damning and angry verbal assault on Saruman's reign. As loyal servant to Saruman, Boromir vouches that he had nothing to do with the parchment, but as a loyal servant of Middle Earth, I can tell you that Saruman had it coming for a long time, and it could very well have been a parchment from even Aragon.

Early news that has filtered through from the Shire via Galadriel has indicated that Saruman has laughed off the parchment and is dismissing it as cowardly and powerless (an expected response, given the evil, vile and arrogant personality of the Wizard). But given the fact that Saruman will be away with the Heren Istarion for about one yavie, it seems likely that the simmerings of discontent of the citizens of Middle Earth will either settle down or boil over in his absentia.

And now we wait for Gandalf the Grey's verdict and decision, and it is hoped that it will be a just and fair decision that will benefit the entire Middle Earth. For it is the transformation of Saruman that will determine the happiness, state of mind, ability and confidence of the people of Middle Earth which is currently almost non-existent...

from the files and neutral eyes of Frodo Baggins

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Innovation is Not Dead!

I've always admired the inventive spirit of the human mind. This family in England have proven that anyone is capable of coming up with a bright idea in times of crisis:


By early July, Jonathan Baltesz and his wife and kids were desperate to find their 10-year-old black Labrador mix, Simon, who had run away. They had one more plan, however. The family members urinated into containers and sprinkled the contents at various locales around their town (Bristol, England), laid out so that Simon could follow a trail home. (Results were unavailable at press time.) [Bristol Evening Post, 7-9-09]