iSee. iLike. iShare.

When Gotham is in Ashes...

2011-12-23T08:25:00.003+08:00

Tuts My Barreh (If There's A Camel Up in Here)

2011-11-24T13:22:00.001+08:00

Probable reasons to watch:

The singer.

Probable reasons not to watch:

The singer.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows Trailer

2011-11-23T20:11:00.001+08:00

December, traditionally a slow month for great movies, will see the arrival of Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law reprising their roles as Sherlock Holmes and Dr John H. Watson respectively in "A Game of Shadows". If like me, you enjoyed the first installment and loved Downey's eccentric portrayal of Sherlock, then you're probably gonna enjoy this flick too.

Possibly worth the price of admission (in no particular order):

Professor James Moriarty (Sherlock's archenemy);
Naomi Rapace - to see if she really can rap;
Sherlock Holmes in a dress;
Sherlock Holmes in a pyjamas; and
Sherlock Holmes fighting with an umbrella.

Possible reason to just download and not watch it in the cinema (in no particular order):

Downey Jr looking rather old and haggard;
No Mark Strong (unless he returns from the dead...again.); and
Sherlock Holmes partially dressed.

Release date: December 2011

Snow White & The Huntsman Trailer

2011-11-22T23:27:00.000+08:00

Charlize Theron looking delish in this trailer. And what is up with her mirror? Gotta get me one of those. Kristin Stewart looks like she just walked in from Twilight, but at least glittery Edwood Sullen isn't joining her here. Hemsworth looks, well, hems-worthy (especially when taking on that gigantic beast) and since it's brought to you by the producers of Alice in Wonderland, you can bet it'll be a rip-roaring ride of a movie!

Release date: June 2012.

Snow Slip 'n' Slide!

2011-03-29T08:34:00.002+08:00

Wooooooooofff!!!

Haaa...Padan Muka!!!

2011-03-25T08:07:00.001+08:00

see more Gifs

Beach Party Fail

2011-03-25T08:04:00.000+08:00

This should be fuuuaaarrrggghhh!!!

Facewall Wipeout!

2011-03-16T17:21:00.002+08:00

Balls of Steel

2011-03-16T17:12:00.002+08:00

A very gory end for snatch thief (Updated)

2011-02-22T08:37:00.000+08:00

KUALA LUMPUR: It was a gory end for a snatch thief who died with his private parts severed in a collision at Ampang Jaya here between his getaway motorcycle and the victim’s car.

The police and passers-by found the body of the 35-year-old suspect in a drain, with his penis almost crushed and detached from his body. His pants had been ripped from his body in the accident.

His accomplice, who was riding pillion, suffered body injuries.

The incident happened soon after the 28-year-old victim was locking the gate to leave her home in Taman Mega Jaya in Ampang at around 8.30am yesterday. She had left the bag in her Toyota Vios, while the car engine was on.

A man suddenly appeared, opened the car door and snatched the bag. The woman tried to fight back but was kicked in the abdomen.

Ampang Jaya OCPD Asst Comm Amirruddin Jamaluddin said the woman then got into her car and gave chase before blocking them.

The two men were caught off-guard and rammed right into the victim’s car resulting in both of them being flung from the machine. The accident occurred about 200m from the woman’s house.

The snatch theft victim was not hurt in the incident.

ACP Amiruddin also said both men had valid driving licences but the motorcycle they were using was reported stolen.

Police are investigating if the suspects were involved in other criminal activities in the district.

Update: Turns out the snatch thief did not lose his penis in the accident after all. He merely wanted to award a Medal of Honour to the heroic victim for her courageous act. We thank him for being considerate (and ballsy, hahaha) enough to manually remove it before passing it to her.

Fail of the Day

2011-02-18T11:06:00.003+08:00

Good Try...

2011-02-17T17:59:00.002+08:00

...but keep trying! :)

I KNEW IT!!!

2011-02-03T20:53:00.000+08:00

As they say in Bahasa Malaysia: TIDAK SYAK LAGI!!!

Hoppy Chinese New Year!!! ^___^

2011-02-02T17:04:00.001+08:00

To all my friends, family and loved ones: Hoppy Chinese New Year Eve, and Hoppy Chinese New Year! May God bless the year of the Rabbit (and you) with an abundance of prosperity, wealth, good health and success!!! Enjoy your reunions (be they balik kampung or reunion dinners), just remember to: COLLECT lots of Ang Pow (for those who qualify), eat in moderation and DON'T drink and drive!!!

We've all been through this phase :)

2011-01-21T08:22:00.003+08:00

Kerpow!

2011-01-11T08:54:00.000+08:00

"Tree'-fic fall, mate!"

Transformers 3 will see Optimus Prime get his trailer!!! ^___^

2011-01-05T08:28:00.000+08:00

Full story taken without permission from HERE.

Round and round and round it...

2011-01-04T11:17:00.000+08:00

...goooooooooooooooess!!!

Only works in the movies...

2011-01-04T11:13:00.000+08:00

Can...can...can!!! *PLOP!*...cannot.

Hmmm...

2010-12-30T08:13:00.000+08:00

ATVs Are Hard to Manoeuvre

2010-12-29T14:30:00.000+08:00

Cute Child's Christmas...

2010-12-27T08:46:00.002+08:00

fail.

Haaapy...

2010-12-23T13:07:00.004+08:00

...Birthday!!! Hahahahahaha

*Munchmunchmunch whooaaa!

2010-12-21T14:40:00.000+08:00

Uh...

2010-12-16T14:26:00.000+08:00

o___O

Ouchie of the Day!

2010-12-15T14:30:00.000+08:00

I'm not entirely sure what you were trying to pull there, kiddo, but all I can say is "SMACK!"

Parking FAIL.

2010-12-14T08:44:00.000+08:00

Hot Salsa Dog

2010-12-13T09:43:00.002+08:00

Quiet little walk and OMG NINJA STRIKE!

2010-12-10T17:15:00.000+08:00

Snuggle Buddies :)

2010-12-09T08:54:00.002+08:00

I Guess When You Gotta Go, You Gotta Go...

2010-12-08T17:38:00.000+08:00

The dog's probably goin': "YESSSSS!!!"

Christmas is in the Air

2010-12-06T09:15:00.000+08:00

Take that, Jack Fro - whooaaaa!!!

Inception Special

2010-12-03T09:18:00.002+08:00

Lots of LOL Inception screencaps have been making the rounds on the interweb, these are just some of my faves:

In Memory of Leslie Nielsen (1926-2010)

2010-12-01T08:47:00.001+08:00

Surely you can't be serious?

I'm serious. And don't call me Shirley.

Kinect Fail

2010-11-30T09:09:00.000+08:00

My co-worker Azzad just bought an X-box Kinect. I wanted to check it out, but suddenly I don't feel like challenging him to a game anymore...

UNICEF: Stop Child Abuse Now!

2010-11-29T08:08:00.003+08:00

It Always Works in the Movies!

2010-11-28T23:52:00.000+08:00

Nice landing, fellas. I'm sure alcohol was involved!

Looking for Trouble!

2010-11-25T08:26:00.000+08:00

Auditioning for the Energizer Bunny role, are we?

2010-11-24T08:51:00.000+08:00

*Huff* *Puff* *Huff* *Puff*

Cool Mario vs Pacman Animation

2010-11-23T08:47:00.000+08:00

Weird way to end it, though. A bit like "Little Shop of Horrors", eh?

Great Catch!

2010-11-22T08:33:00.003+08:00

Wrestler A: You got me, right?
Wrestler B: Don't worry, you're safe with me! Just let me get into posi...
*CRUNCH*!

Closer...closer...

2010-11-19T08:32:00.002+08:00

WHAM!!! right in the solar plexus.

Going the Distance

2010-11-18T08:14:00.003+08:00

At the 25th World Gymnastics Championship, this dude learns the hard way that "Spring Break" has a different meaning when you're a gymnast.

Front brake fail

2010-11-17T11:48:00.002+08:00

I break for cameras.

Ouchie of the Day!

2010-11-16T08:52:00.002+08:00

*Speechless

I gotta say...painfully hilarious!

2010-11-15T14:13:00.001+08:00

Whale diver

2010-11-15T13:52:00.003+08:00

I think it gets funnier the more I see it LOL

Khalid Askri - The Unluckiest Goalkeeper in the World! Twice!

2010-11-12T08:41:00.000+08:00

Goalkeepers rarely get any glory so they really need to lap it up in a penalty shootout - but FAR Rabat's Khalid Askri probably went too far by completely ignoring the fact his save counted for nothing because of the spin on the ball.

In one of the strangest moments ever in a penalty shootout, 29-year-old Askri appeared to have saved a penalty low to his left and turned away to celebrate for his fans.More: See Emmanuel Eboue's bizarre touch-line warm-up. However, while his back was turned he failed to spot the spin on the ball taking it back towards the goal-line and into the net. The opportunist Maghreb Fez player, who originally thought he had missed, took great delight in pointing it out to the referee, who was forced to give the goal - much to the annoyance of Askri.The 'phantom' save cost Askri's side dearly too - as they went on to lose 7-6 in the shootout to be eliminated in the last-16 of the Moroccan league's Coupe du Trône.

Taken from: http://www.metro.co.uk/sport/oddballs/840803-khalid-askri-concedes-weirdest-penalty-ever#ixzz151Xra1l7

Glentoran goal nominated for Puskas Award

2010-11-11T08:10:00.003+08:00

(from Soccernet.com)

Unknown Glentoran striker Matty Burrows could soon be rubbing shoulders with the likes of Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi after his back-heeled 92nd minute winner against Portadown last month became an internet sensation.

The 25-year-old's audacious jumping back-heel volley received more than three million views on YouTube and has now been shortlisted for FIFA's new goal of the year gong, the Puskas Award.

The winner of the award will be whoever receives the most public votes on FIFA's website and, as the goal featured in this column back in October, it would only be right to urge you to back the Irish Premiership player when voting begins later this month.

Last year's inaugural Puskas Award was scooped by Ronaldo's 40-yard winner for Manchester United against FC Porto in the Champions League.

Do your bit, vote!!! :)

Meooowwwaaarrrggghhh!!!

2010-11-10T21:50:00.002+08:00

Today's LOL Moment

2010-11-10T11:27:00.000+08:00

Coincidence?

2010-11-01T08:17:00.004+08:00

You Heard it Here First! :D

2010-09-27T17:24:00.000+08:00

Megacougarsaurus™ - A septuagenarian in a relationship with someone below 40 years of age.

© Zulkarnain bin Zulkifli, 2010!

Have you seen that new KFC online banner advertisement?

2010-09-15T08:58:00.003+08:00

I have, and I think that not only is it disturbing, I also feel they failed to include a "drag to stomach" option...

Dear God, today I am thankful for...

2010-09-14T17:01:00.003+08:00

The hazelnut praline mocha mooncake that I had for breakfast! ^__^

(but not so thankful for the trip to the bathroom that followed it. Should have drank more water, dang.)

Being married...

2010-09-13T21:30:00.003+08:00

is like becoming a knight. You know that certain days you have to face the dragon's flames in order to get to the maiden or princess, yet you're still willing to die trying.

http://vimeo.com/12562270

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri 2010 :)

2010-09-13T20:21:00.002+08:00

Raya comes but once a year,

Bringing joy and lots of cheer,

A month of sacrifices; followed by good tidings,

Celebrations of joy, happiness and blessings,

Beneath the hunger of stomachs growling,

Is where one finds Ramadhan's true meaning

,It goes beyond spiritual enhancing,

It's not just about forgiving and forgetting,

The month serves as a gentle reminder,

To always be thankful to our Creator,

Ultimately; Ramadhan is a call to all,

To change one's self; big or small,

Your body, heart, or mind; it doesn't really matter,

So long as you are changing for the better,

So whatever you do; wherever you may be,

Have yourself a Wonderful Hari Raya Aidilfitri ^___^

Take care, drive safe and eat safe!

Aren’t we all Malaysians?

2010-08-18T07:46:00.000+08:00

(Reproduced with apologies, but without permission from The Star)

Aren’t we all Malaysians?

I HAVE many memories of my childhood days when religion and race were of no importance to me. It was so unimportant that I thought my father was Chinese and my mother was Malay and my grandparents Indians until I was about five or six. And the fact that we speak Chinese, English and Malay at home did not help clear the air at all.

As we approach Hari Raya and National Day this year, I was reminded of the past when I collected both green and red packets from my family members. It didn’t matter whether it was Raya or Chinese New Year, red and green packets were part of the celebration, as my grandparents are Chinese.

We had Chinese kiam chai theng (soup made of pickled vegetable) and Malay rendang on both occasions and life was great. I was brought up as a Malaysian first and a Malay second and not the other way round. And I’m proud of it.

Racial identity is so important to many Malaysians and after 53 years of nationhood, one would think that we would be more mature and wise in terms of racial relationships. But somehow we are more and more worried that we would lose our racial identity if we are not careful.
We see parents squabbling on whether ethnic and religious schools are better than national schools and not wanting their children to mix.

We see Malaysians debating and arguing whether it is appropriate to teach English and Science in school. Never mind the fact that it is the lingua franca of this planet.
We hear individuals not wanting to celebrate Raya and other celebrations together, citing religious reasons and wanting an end to our Kongsi Raya tradition.

Why are we so worried about becoming less Malay, Chinese and Indian? Aren’t we all Malaysians? Have we not realised that the fundamental nature of our country and society does not lie with a single racial entity, but as a whole? If the Malays, the Chinese, the Indians or any other races were to stand alone, they cannot claim to be Malaysians. They are simply Malays, Chinese, Indians and other races.

I still celebrate both occasions regardless of what some people think. I will continue to celebrate both occasions and will definitely give my children ang pow and qing pow (green packets).
We have been able to observe Ramadan in peace and will celebrate Raya soon with our loved ones. And later in the year we’ll celebrate Christmas and then Chinese New Year early next year.

At the risk of sounding corny, I should also add that we should be thankful to live in such a peaceful country. And in this world and age, it is a rare commodity.

We should cherish and maintain it at all costs. For better or for worse, for richer or poorer, till death come knocking on our door. I offer no apology for saying all this and more.

Selamat Hari Raya to all Malaysians and a Happy Birthday, Malaysia.

DR KAMAL AMZAN,
Kajang.

Iconic Ironic Irony of the Day

2010-08-17T07:58:00.001+08:00

Protest Against Interference of 50 Australian MPs against Anwar Ibrahim's Sodomy Charges

2010-02-18T23:38:00.004+08:00

Sodomy can be Sofunny.

Everyday Heroes

2010-02-11T08:32:00.001+08:00

Thieves nabbed after being trailed home

MUAR: A witness to a snatch theft quietly followed two thieves to their house. And then called the police.
The two suspects were nabbed an hour after the theft with their loot — two gold necklaces, a cellular phone and several bank cards.
The two men, aged 31 and 26, who were on a motorcycle, had snatched a woman’s handbag along Jalan Bakri at 3.15pm on Feb 6.
The woman, who worked at a factory here, had tried to chase after the two men on her motorcycle but fell and was slightly hurt.
That’s when the witness decided to follow them home.
Commending the man, Muar deputy police chief Supt Lee Choon Guan said: “We immediately sent a team to the house and found the two men with the victim’s handbag.”
The two men, who had previous drug-related criminal records, have been remanded for a week.

Bravo, model citizen! The world needs more people like you! :D

Duh (The?) Moment of the Day

2010-02-08T09:16:00.001+08:00

CNY...a time for mandarin oranges!

2010-02-04T21:04:00.003+08:00

And they don't come any better than the fresh ones from China! But...

Google making my day again

2010-02-03T10:30:00.001+08:00

Don't know which is worse...that people are asking, or that there are millions of searches asking about it!

Double whammy today (Google News & Bernama)

2010-01-25T12:13:00.004+08:00

Really? People actually want to know this?

2010-01-20T21:50:00.002+08:00

Apparently 10,200 people do.

I'm sure you do.

2010-01-20T08:40:00.002+08:00

Because some questions can't be answered by your teacher

2010-01-19T21:45:00.003+08:00

Today, my day is (Google Auto) complete

2010-01-19T13:30:00.000+08:00

God needs support too, sometimes…

Concentration is key

2009-12-30T08:43:00.003+08:00

Malaysia Boleh! We made it into www.newsoftheweird.com again! Woo hooooooo!!!

2009-12-14T09:10:00.001+08:00

Promoting the General Welfare in Malaysia:

The government of the state of Terengganu initiated a campaign in November to halt the growing divorce rate by offering pre-marital classes in sensuality. Also, because newlyweds have identified spousal body odor and ugly pajamas as turn-offs, the government invited cosmetics firms and lingerie sellers to improve their offerings. [Indo Asian News Service, 11-2-09]

The chairwoman of the family and health committee of Malaysia's Kelantan state suggested in October that male legislators should take, as additional wives (permitted under Islam), some of the 16,000 unmarried mothers now dependent on state support. [Reuters, 10-29-09]

My HAHAHA moment of the day!

2009-12-07T20:28:00.002+08:00

From www.newsoftheweird.com

In August, the Thorpe Park amusement facility in Chertsey, England, posted signs on its roller coaster admonishing riders not to wave their arms during the ride. According to director Mike Vallis: "We've found that when the temperature tops 77 degrees (F), the level of unpleasant (underarm) smells can become unacceptable, and we do receive complaints." [Daily Telegraph, 8-18-09]

Re-blogging: RGB

2009-12-04T17:11:00.002+08:00

Re-blogging: The lazy man's answer to blogging!

2009-11-26T08:38:00.003+08:00

Nightmare in real life

Taken from The Star's LONDON LOG By CHOI TUCK WO

A loving husband kills his wife of 40 years while asleep.
IT was, as one psychiatrist was quoted as saying, a perfect storm.
The tragic tale of Brian Thomas who strangled his wife while dreaming he was fighting off an intruder makes for heart-rending reading.
Who could have imagined that a loving husband could actually kill his wife of 40 years while asleep?
For many, it may seem utterly illogical that the 57-year-old man was able to walk free from the court after the prosecution withdrew the charge against him.
Of course, nobody is questioning the prosecution’s decision that there would be no purpose in sending him to a psychiatric hospital.
But amid the torrent of claims and counter-claims over the husband’s chronic sleep disorder, the case has thrown up a myriad of disturbing questions.
One key point that has attracted considerable debate is why did he not sleep in another room after he stopped taking medication for his condition?
For all intents and purposes, to stop taking his medicine regardless of the reason can be seen as little more than an act of criminal negligence.
Even as we watched this extraordinary episode unfold before our eyes, the only one who truly knows what happened is probably the husband.
But whatever the courts could have done to him won’t be nearly as bad as to what he has to live with for the rest of his life.
Yes, the man has been punished enough. To know that he has killed the love of his life – even if he had no control over it – will haunt him for a long time to come.
What a terrible thing to have to live with, especially the thought that he had killed his wife and how could he face life without her.
Being a devoted husband, he must have been absolutely heartbroken to know that his decision to stop his medication was probably the catalyst in his wife’s death.
Hopefully, Thomas is continuously monitored and cared for by his immediate family members and can move on with his life.
Perhaps the moral of the story is to try live a healthier lifestyle and to keep away from drugs as much as possible.
But it’s easier said than done in this day and age when we continuously stuff ourselves with so-called food filled with preservatives and additives.
At the end of the day, there seems to be more than a grain of truth in the adage “an apple a day keeps the doctor away.”
Eating plenty of fruits and vegetables has numerous health benefits and can significantly reduce the risk of chronic illnesses.

Oh, and while we're at it:

Lessons for The Day

2009-11-02T09:04:00.001+08:00

again, from my favourite www.newsoftheweird.com! :)

Another Driver Poor at Multitasking: A German truck driver in his 30s crashed his 18-wheeler near Boras, Sweden, in September, and though not seriously hurt, was pinned, immobile, in the wreckage. When rescuers and police first saw him, they noted that the trapped driver's genitals were exposed and that his hand was clasped in his genital area. [The Local (Stockholm), 9-24-09]

Embarrassing: Zach Schultz of Denver became the most recent victim of wind, costing him his car. While driving down Colorado Boulevard in July, he tossed a lit cigarette out the window, but it landed in the back seat and set the car on fire, and he was not able to save it. [KMGH-TV (Denver), 7-16-09]

FOOTBALL

2009-10-29T08:30:00.001+08:00

People With Issues

2009-09-27T23:47:00.001+08:00

(from www.newsoftheweird.com)

Three physicians, reporting in The Canadian Journal of Urology in July, described how they handled an emergency-room patient who arrived with a ballpoint pen in his urethra. The man, 57, had assumed that the insertion would be pleasurable, and when it wasn't, thought initially that maybe the pen was not in far enough. After pushing further, to even greater discomfort, he thought that if he pushed it all the way through, it would exit in his rectum, where he could remove it more easily. (Actually, they're not connected.) Doctors removed the pen with the same procedure used to remove kidney stones. [Canadian Journal of Urology (July 2009) via Neurotopia blog, 8-28-09]

Zulbull says: I don't know which is worse, the pain or the stupidity.

POOP

2009-09-27T09:13:00.003+08:00

A Very Special First Day for Raya 2009...

2009-09-21T20:53:00.005+08:00

because it coincided with Mom and Dad's 28th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY!!!

Gosh...AllI can say is...

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW :D

Above: Circa lunchtime, Dad surprising everyone with an impromptu rendition of Billy Joel's "Just the way you are" to Mom and receiving a peck on the cheek in the process :)

Happy 28th Wedding Anniversary, Mommy and Daddy :) Love you lotsie XOXOXO

Kanye, Kanye, Kanye

2009-09-18T02:45:00.003+08:00

In the (alleged) eloquent words of Barack Obama, you sir, are INDEED a jackass!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1214080/Kanye-Wests-MTV-rant-sparks-wave-internet-virals.html

POOPY TIME!

2009-09-14T08:55:00.003+08:00

Wait. That sounds like a weird title for a post dedicated to Raja (liyanaznil.blogspot.com) and her daughter Alisha. But anyways, I'd like to wish a Happy, Merry, CONGRATULATIONS to Raja on the successful birthing of her newborn daugher (Sept 2, 2009) ALISHA ALHABSHI!!! :) Awesomely happy for you, Raja! :) And it's sooooo cool that Alisha is already expressing herself in the cutest and funniest ways!

Quote of the day:

Raja: you should see when she's making poopy

Zul: :
erm
lol
really??
lol

Raja: her face will be all screwed up, turn red, she'll start making snorty noises and thenCHREETT!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAH

Zul: wow
u jus described my routine bowel movements

Reader's Choice

2009-09-13T22:14:00.001+08:00

(from www.newsoftheweird.com)

In Torrington, Conn., in June, a teenage girl, hearing a woman she lived with screaming in another room, summoned four of her friends, who quickly arrived and beat up the 25-year-old man who was with the woman. It turns out that the couple were having consensual sex (and good sex, at that). The girl and three of the boys were charged with assault. [CBS News-AP, 7-2-09]

Keith Griffin, 48, was arrested in Martin County, Fla., in August for possessing child pornography on his computer. He tried to talk detectives out of the arrest by claiming that his cat often walks on the keyboard and must have stepped on some combination of keys that resulted in the downloading of about 1,000 images. [South Florida Sun-Sentinel, 8-7-09]

HERO WORSHIP

2009-09-11T12:43:00.002+08:00

Mickey this ain't - part 2

2009-09-10T11:39:00.006+08:00

*After exhaustively spraying Ridsect behind, towards and even at the TV set and Karaoke CPU, I decide to call it quits and blame Khairi.*

Me: It's all your fault! Why didn't you see it crawling out from the TV room! You had to keep your eyes on the TV set!

Khairi: We both had our eyes glued to the TV set, genius.

Me: (sighs). Dang it. I guess he tricked us this time. I hope he ran out and found an exit somewhere. If he's built a nest somewhere in the house, he'll definitely return.

*The next day, after consulting Daddy, I go to the hardware shop to buy a mousetrap and rat glue.*

M-I-C-K-E-Y, I-WILL-COME-FOR-THEE!

Proud to be Malaysian? LOL

I am really not sure about the wisdom of using "Malaysia" as a brandname for rat glue.

*Conclusion: After being advised by the hardware shop guy to use anchovies as the bait for the trap, I set it up and wait 'till pre-dawn breakfast (today)...*

Aha! Houston, we have a visitor!

Cute little fella.

A camwhore, too.

Me: So...uh, how should I dispose of it?

Mom: I don't know.

Me and Khairi: Decapitate it!

Mom: 1) It's messy. 2) And how do you propose to do that? Tell it to stand still while you chop its head off, Dr Dolittle?

Me: Point taken. Ooh, what about boiling water! The traditional method!

Kak Nani (our domestic helper): If you're going to kill it, please don't do it in front of me!

Me: Spoilsport. What about we bash it in with a stick?

Mom: Again, the fella won't sit still for you to do that. And again, IT'S MESSY!

Me: Fine. I'll curl it up into a ball and throw it at the bitchy neighbour who lives in front of us.

Mom: You will not! Do the right thing, release it in the park!

Me: Yeah! And let it go crawl into someone else's house! Yeah!

Khairi: Yeah! I just want to watch That 70's Show. You go ahead.

*Now if you'll excuse me, I have a mouse to release!* Erm...Did I just say that out loud?

Mickey this ain't! - part 1

2009-09-10T11:14:00.002+08:00

It all started two days ago, during our pre-dawn breakfast...

Mom: (out of the corner of her eye, spots something running really fast) Eh, afterwards get the spray. I saw a really big cockroach run into the TV room.

Me: !!! Shite. How am I gonna watch That 70's Show now?! *Contemplates going upstairs to watch it instead of remaining on the first floor*

Khairi: Well, since I'm done eating, let me go and check it out first.

Me: Be careful, brother. You know what happens when cockroaches get near us!

Mom: You scream and run around like little girls?

Me: Yes.

Khairi enters TV room, switches on That 70's Show. I enter the TV room a few minutes after that, guerilla style. I keep an eye on the floor, under the furniture and in between the drumset, as well as near the cupboards.

Me: Hmmm...no sign of any bastard cockroach.

Khairi: Yep. I guessed just as much. But just to be safe, I ain't sitting on the sofa, man.

Me: Haw, haw! Maybe Mom thought she saw a cockroach, but she just imagined it!

Me and Khairi: Hahahahahahaha!

*NOT Mickey decides to make an appearance by darting out from behind of Karaoke CPU (the one place we did not scan!) and then darting back in. Me and Khairi blink a few times before looking at each other and thinking "OH."*

Me: Moooooooooom! We found your cockroach!

Mom: Oh, good. Get the spray and kill it.

Me: Oh, we'll definitely spray it, allright. But this ain't no cockroach!

Mom: Really? What is it, then?

Me and Khairi: It's a MOUSE.

Mom: Oh, great! Well, do something! Don't just sit there watching TV!

*But guys being guys, me and Khairi wanted to finish watching That 70's Show first! Hahaha. Hey c'mon, it was a fun episode! It was the one where Jackie realized and wanted to confess that she was in love with Fez! Anyway, Khairi and I agree to close the TV room sliding doors, all the while keeping the flashlight focused on the mouse, WHILE watching That 70's Show. Big mistake.*

Me: Well, that was a good episode! Now let's get to tackling that mouse! I'm gonna spray behind the karaoke CPU and TV set. Khairi, you standby and let me know if he runs towards you.

*Images of kamikaze mice running up my leg and chewing on my gonads spring to mind, so I tell Khairi to get a chair ready and stand on it, just in case. He heeds my advice, and stands on the chair while keeping both eyes on the Karaoke CPU.*

Me: (Sprays Ridsect at full blast towards Karaoke CPU and TV) Diiiiiiiiiiiiiie you squeaky little menace! I'll teach you to hide behind my TV and chew on the wires! Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiie!

*At this point, things get interesting. So creeped out by the prospect of having the mouse crawl up his leg and shred his gonads that while squatting on the chair, Khairi accidentally swats a glass on the table and smashes it to bits!*

Mom: (Bursts into the TV room) What happened? Is the mouse wreaking havoc? You all should have removed all the glasses and breakable items from the room!

Me: Relax, Mom. That was Khairi the Mouse, and he just smashed a glass by accident out of paranoia.

*As I continue to spray (lots and lots of it), the mouse does not show any sign of making an appearance. Khairi and I get desperate, so we remove all the drawers where the TV set is and open the cupboard doors beside it. Lo and behold, the fella has DISAPPEARED!*

*** to be continued***

PASSIONATE FACIAL EXPRESSIONS

2009-09-06T23:40:00.001+08:00

SUCCESS

2009-09-03T14:37:00.000+08:00

TEETH

2009-09-01T22:25:00.002+08:00

LIFE

2009-09-01T10:42:00.002+08:00

Change

2009-08-31T23:17:00.001+08:00

REAL LOVE

2009-08-31T13:36:00.000+08:00

My new kick...motivational posters!

2009-08-31T13:30:00.001+08:00

Not the best Frank Lampard description you will ever see...

2009-08-24T22:26:00.003+08:00

CCH Booth@Cobainland

2009-08-20T22:41:00.004+08:00

Taken when I was in Seattle, back in...May, I think...

Malay Mail Subeditor

2009-08-17T12:53:00.000+08:00

FAIL

Ever felt like this? I know I do!

2009-08-11T10:33:00.002+08:00

Luckily, he survived :)

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1205541/Help-Baby-elephant-falls-hole-walking-Thailand.html

From the files and neutral eyes of Frodo Baggins

2009-08-07T19:06:00.008+08:00

Boromir had been mulling for weeks to send a "critical analysis" of Saruman's reign of Middle Earth, in the form of a John Hancock'd parchment but never really had the time to do so. The nutless monkey Saruman had always kept Boromir busy with silly, time-wasting treks outside the Shire, sending him to Mordor, the Old Forest and the Barrow-downs with reckless abandon and nary a care about Boromir's pursuit to master the One Ring.

The stillness of the air was shattered this morning with the news that an extremely discontented Hobbit/Elf/Dwarf (it's really anyone's guess as to whether it was Samwise, Legolas, Arwen, Gimli or Pippin or Lord knows who) had delivered a parchment to Gandalf and in it, a damning and angry verbal assault on Saruman's reign. As loyal servant to Saruman, Boromir vouches that he had nothing to do with the parchment, but as a loyal servant of Middle Earth, I can tell you that Saruman had it coming for a long time, and it could very well have been a parchment from even Aragon.

Early news that has filtered through from the Shire via Galadriel has indicated that Saruman has laughed off the parchment and is dismissing it as cowardly and powerless (an expected response, given the evil, vile and arrogant personality of the Wizard). But given the fact that Saruman will be away with the Heren Istarion for about one yavie, it seems likely that the simmerings of discontent of the citizens of Middle Earth will either settle down or boil over in his absentia.

And now we wait for Gandalf the Grey's verdict and decision, and it is hoped that it will be a just and fair decision that will benefit the entire Middle Earth. For it is the transformation of Saruman that will determine the happiness, state of mind, ability and confidence of the people of Middle Earth which is currently almost non-existent...

from the files and neutral eyes of Frodo Baggins

Innovation is Not Dead!

2009-08-02T23:30:00.002+08:00

I've always admired the inventive spirit of the human mind. This family in England have proven that anyone is capable of coming up with a bright idea in times of crisis:

(from www.newsoftheweird.com)

By early July, Jonathan Baltesz and his wife and kids were desperate to find their 10-year-old black Labrador mix, Simon, who had run away. They had one more plan, however. The family members urinated into containers and sprinkled the contents at various locales around their town (Bristol, England), laid out so that Simon could follow a trail home. (Results were unavailable at press time.) [Bristol Evening Post, 7-9-09]

Pizza Hut Debuts New Groundbreaking Technology

2009-07-28T12:47:00.002+08:00

I'll bet even YOUR phone can't do that!

Because most guys have done this before!

2009-07-27T10:17:00.002+08:00

Ah, yes...I remember my first ever encounter with the pop-out bidet. I thought that the pipe thingy would spring up and shoot the water upwards, allowing me to appreciate the flow as it struck the ceiling...Instead, the water shot out at a 90-degree angle and left me with the "I couldn't wait any longer" look on my pants. The lesson I learned? Always make sure you remove your pants when dealing with something that pops upwards and squirts.